A Little Festive. A Little Personal. Still Private. 🪔
|
Diwali is around the corner. Between wrapping up work, the festive plans, and recovering from the card parties, there’s plenty competing for your attention. But since you’re here, let’s make this brief — and worth your while. “I want to build my presence online. But I don’t want my personal life out there.” I hear this often. I’ve worked in the online space since 2011, when I was 19. And I’ve never believed that everything belongs on the internet. You need boundaries, and you need to know exactly where yours are. But keeping your life private doesn’t require making yourself personally invisible. You really need to genuinely understand this distinction if you want to seriously build your Strategic Presence. One of the biggest mistakes I see, especially on Instagram, is people reducing themselves to their work. Another talking-head reel. Another lesson. Another framework. Your expertise comes through. But the person remains difficult to place. Someone considering you as an adviser, business partner, or collaborator may also be asking: “Will this person understand my world? Will I have to explain the things that usually go unsaid?” Your qualifications answer some questions. Your taste, interests, conduct, and surroundings can answer others. There are aspects of social and cultural capital that are difficult to communicate through advice alone: familiarity with certain settings, an understanding of etiquette, an instinct for discretion. People often recognize these through details you would struggle to explain without sounding self-conscious. Sometimes, what feels ordinary to you is precisely what helps the right person recognise common ground. A genuine interest in craftsmanship. The way you approach hosting. A tradition you continue. How you spend time beyond work. These details give your expertise context. They can also offer a glimpse of the life you’ve built alongside the principles you talk about. That doesn’t mean displaying wealth or documenting access. A recognisable room or an influential guest can attract attention while raising questions about your discretion. The useful distinction is this: Personal helps people understand you. Private gives them access you may not wish to grant. You can express your taste without naming the price. You can share your appreciation of a gathering without identifying its guests. You can appear in a festive photograph without revealing your location, your family, or the inside of your home. And you can share a moment later, once the evening belongs to memory rather than a live audience. (This is what I do most of the time.) For people whose lives involve family reputation, longstanding relationships, or sensitive business interests, those choices deserve thought. The benefit is greater familiarity before the first conversation. A prospective client or peer gets a fuller sense of your judgement, your sensibilities, and whether they would feel comfortable working with you. So before sharing something personal, ask: What does this help the right person understand about me — and what does it give away? If it offers meaningful context while respecting your boundaries, it may have a place in your presence. You don’t need to make your life public to make yourself more approachable. But people do need something human to approach. Wishing you a beautiful Diwali — and plenty of moments that remain entirely yours. 🪔 Until next week,​ |